Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
Rita Rudner
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Grow
Barbie
Grows
Identifying
Funny
Heroes
Women
Confident
Self
Super
Men
Images
Hero
Humor
More quotes by Rita Rudner
My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
Rita Rudner
Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
Rita Rudner
I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
Rita Rudner
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
Rita Rudner
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
Rita Rudner
An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
Rita Rudner
Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
Rita Rudner
Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
Rita Rudner
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
Rita Rudner
I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
Rita Rudner
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
Rita Rudner
I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
Rita Rudner
Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner