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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Laughing
Audience
Makes
Feel
Feels
Good
Laughs
Joke
Jokes

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
Rita Rudner
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
Rita Rudner
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
Rita Rudner
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
Rita Rudner
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
Rita Rudner
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
Rita Rudner
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
Rita Rudner
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
Rita Rudner
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
Rita Rudner
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
Rita Rudner
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
Rita Rudner
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner