Quote

If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Makes
Feel
Feels
Good
Laughs
Joke
Jokes
Laughing
Audience

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
Rita Rudner
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
Rita Rudner
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
Rita Rudner
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
Rita Rudner
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
Rita Rudner
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
Rita Rudner
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Rita Rudner
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Rita Rudner
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
Rita Rudner
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
Rita Rudner
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
Rita Rudner
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
Rita Rudner
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
Rita Rudner
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner