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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Kind
Introspective
Sarcastic
Fit
Kinds
Personality
Humor
Better
Different
More quotes by Rita Rudner
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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