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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Sarcastic
Fit
Kinds
Personality
Humor
Better
Different
Kind
Introspective

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
Rita Rudner
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
Rita Rudner
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
Rita Rudner
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
Rita Rudner
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
Rita Rudner
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
Rita Rudner
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Rita Rudner
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
Rita Rudner
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
Rita Rudner
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
Rita Rudner
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
Rita Rudner
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Rita Rudner
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
Rita Rudner