Quote

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Fire
Funny
Women
Better
Looks
Dresses
Thing
Ugly
Much
Humor
Always
Hold

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Rita Rudner
Image
I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
Image
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner
Image
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
Image
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
Image
I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
Image
Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
Rita Rudner
Image
My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
Rita Rudner
Image
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
Image
I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner
Image
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
Image
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
Rita Rudner
Image
I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
Rita Rudner
Image
I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
Image
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
Image
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Rita Rudner