Quote

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Laugh
Laughing
Stay
Middle
Envelope
Make
Envelopes
Push
Table
Tables

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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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