Quote

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Make
Envelopes
Push
Table
Tables
Laugh
Laughing
Stay
Middle
Envelope

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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