Quote

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Tables
Laugh
Laughing
Stay
Middle
Envelope
Make
Envelopes
Push
Table

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
Rita Rudner
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner