Quote

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Laugh
Laughing
Stay
Middle
Envelope
Make
Envelopes
Push
Table
Tables

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
Rita Rudner
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
Rita Rudner
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Rita Rudner
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
Rita Rudner
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
Rita Rudner
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
Rita Rudner
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
Rita Rudner
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
Rita Rudner
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Rita Rudner