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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Scare
Feels
Witty
Children
Labor
Even
Told
Good
Comedy
Hours
Friends
Parenting
Anything

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
Rita Rudner