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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Feels
Scare
Children
Witty
Even
Labor
Good
Told
Comedy
Hours
Friends
Anything
Parenting

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
Rita Rudner
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
Rita Rudner
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
Rita Rudner
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
Rita Rudner