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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Shy
Uncomfortable
Conversation
Makes
Much
Like

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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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