Quote

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Middle
Toilets
Funny
Bathroom
Fall
Seat
Night
Consistently
Women
Seats
Men
Humor
Leave
Toilet
Comedy
Secretly

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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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