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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Funny
Thirty
Feelings
Romance
Peak
Women
Jokes
Eighteen
Men
Reach
Practicals
Love
Sex
Practical
Life
Playing
Joke
Feeling
Sexual
Five
Humorous
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
Rita Rudner
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
Rita Rudner
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
Rita Rudner
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner