Quote

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Five
Humorous
Funny
Thirty
Feelings
Romance
Peak
Women
Jokes
Eighteen
Men
Reach
Practicals
Love
Sex
Practical
Life
Playing
Joke
Feeling
Sexual

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
Rita Rudner
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
Rita Rudner
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
Rita Rudner
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner