Quote

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Feelings
Romance
Peak
Women
Jokes
Eighteen
Reach
Practicals
Men
Sex
Practical
Love
Playing
Joke
Life
Feeling
Sexual
Five
Humorous
Funny
Thirty

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
Rita Rudner
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
Rita Rudner
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Rita Rudner
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner