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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Rich
Dignity
Funny
Humor
Money
Wealth
People
Stupid
Savings
Lose
Someday
Respect
Saving
Loses
Investment
Humanity
Inspiring

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Rita Rudner
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
Rita Rudner
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
Rita Rudner
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Never take candy from strangers.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Rita Rudner
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
Rita Rudner