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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Broke
Married
Marriage
Didn
Breakup
Wanted
Valentine
Boyfriend
Dating
Witty

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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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