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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Dating
Witty
Broke
Married
Marriage
Breakup
Didn
Valentine
Wanted
Boyfriend

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
Rita Rudner
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
Rita Rudner
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner