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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Married
Marriage
Didn
Breakup
Wanted
Valentine
Boyfriend
Dating
Witty
Broke

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Never take candy from strangers.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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