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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Long
Pet
Bought
Dog
Feet
Littles
Little
Patter
Wells
Cheaper
Well
Begun
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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