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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Bought
Dog
Feet
Littles
Little
Patter
Wells
Cheaper
Well
Begun
Long
Pet
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
Rita Rudner