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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Two
Husbands
Buried
Grandmother
Tough
Husband
Woman
Death
Napping
Three
Naps
More quotes by Rita Rudner
My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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