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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Three
Naps
Two
Husbands
Buried
Grandmother
Tough
Husband
Woman
Death
Napping

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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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