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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Buried
Grandmother
Tough
Husband
Woman
Death
Napping
Three
Naps
Two
Husbands
More quotes by Rita Rudner
I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner