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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Live
Mom
Daughter
Psychotics
Air
Neurotics
Build
Cleans
Humor
Psychotic
Funny
Castles
Mother
Parenting
Women
Motherhood
More quotes by Rita Rudner
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
Rita Rudner
My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
Rita Rudner
Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
Rita Rudner
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
Rita Rudner
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner
Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Rita Rudner
It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
Rita Rudner
I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner
When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
Rita Rudner
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
Rita Rudner
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Rita Rudner
When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Rita Rudner
