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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Humor
Psychotic
Funny
Castles
Mother
Parenting
Women
Motherhood
Live
Mom
Daughter
Psychotics
Air
Neurotics
Build
Cleans

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
Rita Rudner