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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Funny
Perfume
Inspirational
Attract
Men
Witty
Humorous
Wear
Car
Interior
Humor
Hilarious
Called
Interiors

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
Rita Rudner
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
Rita Rudner
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Rita Rudner