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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Attract
Inspirational
Witty
Men
Humorous
Wear
Car
Interior
Humor
Hilarious
Called
Interiors
Perfume
Funny
More quotes by Rita Rudner
I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
Rita Rudner
I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
Rita Rudner
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
Rita Rudner
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
Rita Rudner
Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
Rita Rudner
Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
Rita Rudner
Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Rita Rudner
Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
Rita Rudner
Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner
Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
Rita Rudner
One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
Rita Rudner