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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Humorous
Wear
Car
Interior
Humor
Hilarious
Called
Interiors
Funny
Perfume
Inspirational
Attract
Men
Witty

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
Rita Rudner
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
Rita Rudner
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
Rita Rudner
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
Rita Rudner
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
Rita Rudner
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
Rita Rudner
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
Rita Rudner
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
Rita Rudner
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
Rita Rudner
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
Rita Rudner