Quote

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Really
Makes
Heartbroken
Love
Someone
Outfit
Doe
Breakup
Better
Shop
Feel
Shops
Sometimes
Relationship
Feels
Break
Great
Purpose

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner