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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Funny
Jewelry
Pain
Jewels
Better
Bought
Men
Experienced
Ears
Prepared
Newlyweds
Marriage
Jewellery
Humor
Pierced

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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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