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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Experienced
Ears
Prepared
Newlyweds
Marriage
Jewellery
Humor
Pierced
Funny
Jewelry
Pain
Jewels
Better
Bought

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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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