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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Experienced
Ears
Prepared
Newlyweds
Marriage
Jewellery
Humor
Pierced
Funny
Jewelry
Pain
Jewels
Better
Bought

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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