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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Experienced
Ears
Prepared
Newlyweds
Marriage
Jewellery
Humor
Pierced
Funny
Jewelry
Pain
Jewels
Better
Bought
More quotes by Rita Rudner
My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
Rita Rudner
My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
