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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Prepared
Newlyweds
Marriage
Jewellery
Humor
Pierced
Funny
Jewelry
Pain
Jewels
Better
Bought
Men
Experienced
Ears
More quotes by Rita Rudner
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita Rudner
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
Rita Rudner
I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
Rita Rudner
Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
Rita Rudner
I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
Rita Rudner
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
Rita Rudner
When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Rita Rudner
Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner
The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
Rita Rudner
My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
Rita Rudner
I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner
Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
Rita Rudner
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
