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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Members
Tails
Wonder
Cult
Religious
Pet
Spaniels
Think
Dogs
Terriers
Thinking
Witty
Poodles
Faithful
Canine
Weird
Puppy
Dog
Bark

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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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