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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Weird
Puppy
Dog
Bark
Members
Tails
Wonder
Cult
Religious
Pet
Spaniels
Think
Dogs
Terriers
Thinking
Witty
Poodles
Faithful
Canine

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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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