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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Religious
Pet
Spaniels
Think
Dogs
Terriers
Thinking
Witty
Poodles
Faithful
Canine
Weird
Puppy
Dog
Bark
Members
Tails
Wonder
Cult

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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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