Quote

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Dog
Bark
Members
Tails
Wonder
Cult
Religious
Pet
Spaniels
Think
Dogs
Terriers
Thinking
Witty
Poodles
Faithful
Canine
Weird
Puppy

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
Image
Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
Image
Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
Image
I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
Rita Rudner
Image
Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
Rita Rudner
Image
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
Image
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
Rita Rudner
Image
Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
Rita Rudner
Image
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
Rita Rudner
Image
Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
Image
I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
Image
Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Rita Rudner
Image
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner
Image
I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
Rita Rudner