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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Firsts
Humorous
First
Eventually
Right
Mets
Always
Name
Love
Names
Life
Funny
Idea
Hilarious
Ideas
Witty

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
Rita Rudner
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner