Quote

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Right
Mets
Always
Name
Love
Names
Life
Funny
Idea
Hilarious
Ideas
Witty
Firsts
Humorous
First
Eventually

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita Rudner
Image
I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
Rita Rudner
Image
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
Rita Rudner
Image
Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
Rita Rudner
Image
I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
Rita Rudner
Image
I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
Image
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
Image
I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
Rita Rudner
Image
Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
Rita Rudner
Image
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
Rita Rudner
Image
My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner
Image
Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner
Image
Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
Rita Rudner
Image
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
Rita Rudner
Image
I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
Image
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
Rita Rudner
Image
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Rita Rudner