Quote

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Funny
Never
Anniversary
Love
Stepped
Valentine
Fallen
Mets
Husband
Times

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner
Image
I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
Rita Rudner
Image
Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
Rita Rudner
Image
Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
Image
When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Rita Rudner
Image
I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
Rita Rudner
Image
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
Image
Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
Rita Rudner
Image
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner
Image
My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
Image
Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
Rita Rudner
Image
I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
Image
I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
Image
I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
Rita Rudner
Image
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita Rudner