Math anxiety: an intense lifelong fear of two trains approaching each other at speeds of 60 and 80 MPH.

Golf is the art of driving hard, avoiding the rough, surmounting traps and hazards, aiming straight, and arriving on the green at last, only to end up in a hole in the ground before your companions. The favored pastime of businessmen and their cronies, probably without a full appreciation of its metaphorical implications.

The world belongs to people with IQs of 120. Anything much greater or less amounts to a liability.

POWER: The ability to make our fellow humans squirm, sweat and stammer on command. Often regarded as an aphrodisiac actually a potent laxative that, whenever ingested by people in high places, causes everyone below to run for cover.

Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty

Most people perceive moderates as timid, middle-of-the-roaders, who can't take a stand.

REVOLUTIONARY: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

Corporation: a miniature totalitarian state governed by a hierarchy of unelected officials who take a dim view of individualism, free speech, equality and eggheads. The backbone of all Western democracies.

We're still just the world's premium brand of ape.