Quote

Ridiculous that some people feel superior to the gay minority. They're the only couples you'll ever find poking around for ceramics and candle holders in the winery gift shop and both parties really want to be there.

Richard Jeni

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Richard Jeni
Age: 49 †
Born: 1957
Born: April 14
Died: 2007
Died: March 10
Acting
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Richard John Colangelo
Ever
Superiors
Couples
Feel
Gay
Minority
Feels
Ridiculous
Shop
Really
Gift
Candle
People
Couple
Shops
Party
Minorities
Ceramics
Around
Superior
Holders
Find
Parties
Poking

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We spend the second half of our life making up for the first half.
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Religious war at its simplest is killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.
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If carrots are good for my eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
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When one guy sees an invisible man he's a nut case ten people see him it's a cult ten million people see him it's a respected religion.
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It's always the guy who gets the diarrhea on the commercial at an inconvenient moment. As if you've ever been in a situation: 'You know, this would be a great time to get the runs, you think? I mean the sun's out, we're on the ferris wheel - what are we waiting for?
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In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.
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In New York, the principal leisure activity is internal bleeding.
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America: Twenty million illegal aliens can't be wrong!
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If you're going to war over religion, now you're just getting into a fight over who has the better imaginary friend.
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I met a girl, we ate, we drank, had sex, got married, had affairs, broke up - God, what a night that was!
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Easiest job you could ever have... whoever gets to put Michael Jackson in a witness chair and create reasonable doubt.
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Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.
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We would need less gun control if we had better birth control.
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Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.
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Animals are happier than humans because they're like furry little existentialists, all living in the moment. Their collective motto: live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking pelt.
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Lobsters one of the only animals that have to put up with being alive in the restaurant. If you go to a steakhouse, folks - no cow tank.
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Why is human cloning illegal? All it is is making a certain type of person on purpose. Can they possibly be any worse than the assholes we're pumping out by accident?
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If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.
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Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered whey they die but they're not getting up early on a Sunday.
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I was brought up Catholic. My mom brought us to mass every Sunday - short for 'massive head trauma' that you get from your mother punching you in your little nine-year-old head every minute because you can't sit still for anything that's boring.
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