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America: Twenty million illegal aliens can't be wrong!

Richard Jeni

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Richard Jeni
Age: 49 †
Born: 1957
Born: April 14
Died: 2007
Died: March 10
Acting
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Richard John Colangelo
Aliens
Illegal
Twenty
Twenties
Million
Millions
Wrong
America

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In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.
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There is no romance without some lying. That's what romance is - a little bit of Vaseline on the camera lens of life.
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Imagine my surprise when it turned out the main thing that I was qualified for was to get another degree and teach Political Science to other people, who would, in turn, teach it to other people! This wasn't higher education, this was Amway with a football team!
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The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?
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It's always the guy who gets the diarrhea on the commercial at an inconvenient moment. As if you've ever been in a situation: 'You know, this would be a great time to get the runs, you think? I mean the sun's out, we're on the ferris wheel - what are we waiting for?
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In the United States economic system you can lose big or you can win big. If you lose you wind up wearing a Hefty bag and sleeping in a doorway. If you win you can have sex with Catherine Zeta Jones when you're seventy-five.
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We spend the second half of our life making up for the first half.
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Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered whey they die but they're not getting up early on a Sunday.
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We would need less gun control if we had better birth control.
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Religious war at its simplest is killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.
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