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Shake and shake the catsup bottle none will come and then a lot'll.

Richard Armour

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Richard Armour
Age: 82 †
Born: 1906
Born: July 15
Died: 1989
Died: February 28
Poet
Writer
CA
Bottle
Shake
Bottles
Shakes
None
Come

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The hand is quicker than the eye is, but somewhat slower than the fly is.
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Until Eve arrived, this was a man's world.
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There are very few humorists who have written first-rate humor after they've become elderly.
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In larger things we are convivial what causes trouble is the trivial.
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When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less.
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I love a finished speaker, I really, truly do I don't mean one who's polished, I just mean one who's through.
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If only I kept my eye on the ball, Looking downward as does the pro there, I might not see where it was going, at all, But there might be a chance it would go there.
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Although practice swings Can be helpful things, Twere better, indeed, not take any Than to fiddle and fret And before playing get Exhausted from taking too many.
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If I ever make a hole in one, A thrill that I've never known, I won't be believed and I'll have no fun, For I'm sure to be playing alone.
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My day-old son is plenty scrawny, his mouth is wide with screams, or yawny His ears seem larger than he's needing, His nose is flat, his chin's receding. His skin is very, very red, He has no hair upon his head, And yet I'm proud as proud can be, To hear you say he looks like me.
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Middle age is the time of life that a man first notices in his wife.
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G is for Green, that's constructed to roll in every direction away from the hole.
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Rockefeller made his money in oil, which he discovered at the bottom of wells. Oil was considered crude in those days, but so was Rockefeller. Now both are considered quite refined.
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(Francis) Bacon's best known writings are his essays. They are loved for many reasons, such as their being so short.
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If you convinced me And I convinced you, Would there not still be Two points of view?
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This golfer has a wicked slice. And quite a follow-through. That's why his partner, who stood too close, Is on the green in two.
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There is some consolation in the fact that, even though your dreams don't come true, neither do your nightmares.
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In such novels as This Side of Paradise and The Great Gatsby, Fitzgerald depicts the spirit of the hour which is usually about 4 a.m. His suave young men, always commuting between Princeton and The Plaza in Stutz Bearcats never sat still for long. It was too uncomfortable, with a large flask in the hip pocket.
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If we cannot define stupidity, at least we can trace most human misfortunes and weaknesses to it. Its manifestations are legion, its symptoms are endless.
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Some golfers blast their ball from traps, With one adroit explosion, But others, out in ten perhaps, Depend upon erosion.
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