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When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less.

Richard Armour

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Richard Armour
Age: 82 †
Born: 1906
Born: July 15
Died: 1989
Died: February 28
Poet
Writer
CA
Comes
Helping
Sometimes
Armour
Eating
Help
Less

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In larger things we are convivial what causes trouble is the trivial.
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My day-old son is plenty scrawny, his mouth is wide with screams, or yawny His ears seem larger than he's needing, His nose is flat, his chin's receding. His skin is very, very red, He has no hair upon his head, And yet I'm proud as proud can be, To hear you say he looks like me.
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Some people can carry a tune, but they seem to stagger under the load.
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Some golfers blast their ball from traps, With one adroit explosion, But others, out in ten perhaps, Depend upon erosion.
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Middle age is the time of life that a man first notices in his wife.
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Shakespeare, who never could think up a plot by himself, found this one [Macbeth] in Holinshed's Chronicles, changing it just enough so that no one would recognize the source. He didn't count on the resourcefulness of modern scholars, who have to discover things like this to become associate professors.
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Shake and shake the catsup bottle none will come and then a lot'll.
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How I love to get a letter! I can think of nothing better Than perusing an epistolary item. But deep is my despondence, For I've found that correspondence Means that if you want to get 'em, You must write 'em!
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Although practice swings Can be helpful things, Twere better, indeed, not take any Than to fiddle and fret And before playing get Exhausted from taking too many.
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Rockefeller made his money in oil, which he discovered at the bottom of wells. Oil was considered crude in those days, but so was Rockefeller. Now both are considered quite refined.
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G is for Green, that's constructed to roll in every direction away from the hole.
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This golfer has a wicked slice. And quite a follow-through. That's why his partner, who stood too close, Is on the green in two.
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If I ever make a hole in one, A thrill that I've never known, I won't be believed and I'll have no fun, For I'm sure to be playing alone.
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If you convinced me And I convinced you, Would there not still be Two points of view?
Richard Armour
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There is some consolation in the fact that, even though your dreams don't come true, neither do your nightmares.
Richard Armour
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In such novels as This Side of Paradise and The Great Gatsby, Fitzgerald depicts the spirit of the hour which is usually about 4 a.m. His suave young men, always commuting between Princeton and The Plaza in Stutz Bearcats never sat still for long. It was too uncomfortable, with a large flask in the hip pocket.
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I love a finished speaker, I really, truly do I don't mean one who's polished, I just mean one who's through.
Richard Armour
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The hand is quicker than the eye is, but somewhat slower than the fly is.
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(Francis) Bacon's best known writings are his essays. They are loved for many reasons, such as their being so short.
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There are very few humorists who have written first-rate humor after they've become elderly.
Richard Armour