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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
Red Skelton
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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
First
Pillow
Sheets
Fought
Cold
Lasts
Last
Night
Blankets
Firsts
Blanket
More quotes by Red Skelton
I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
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I left home because I was hungry.
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Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
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If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
Red Skelton