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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
Red Skelton
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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Sheets
Fought
Cold
Lasts
Last
Night
Blankets
Firsts
Blanket
First
Pillow
More quotes by Red Skelton
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
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I left home because I was hungry.
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
Red Skelton
