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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
Red Skelton
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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Cold
Lasts
Last
Night
Blankets
Firsts
Blanket
First
Pillow
Sheets
Fought
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
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Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
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She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
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It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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I left home because I was hungry.
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