Quote

A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '

Red Skelton

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Successful
Jumps
Three
Graduate
School
Graduates
Need
Hang
Many
Fellow
Needs
Fellows
Going
Months
Make
Told

More quotes by Red Skelton

Image
Congress: Bingo with billions.
Red Skelton
Image
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
Red Skelton
Image
I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
Red Skelton
Image
Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Red Skelton
Image
If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
Red Skelton
Image
I left home because I was hungry.
Red Skelton
Image
I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
Red Skelton
Image
I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
Red Skelton
Image
People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
Red Skelton
Image
You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
Red Skelton
Image
Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
Red Skelton
Image
Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Red Skelton
Image
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
Red Skelton
Image
Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
Red Skelton
Image
I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
Red Skelton
Image
You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
Red Skelton
Image
Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
Red Skelton
Image
Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
Red Skelton
Image
I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
Red Skelton
Image
It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
Red Skelton