Quote

A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Going
Months
Make
Told
Successful
Jumps
Three
Graduate
School
Graduates
Need
Hang
Many
Fellow
Needs
Fellows

More quotes by Red Skelton

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Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
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If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
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I left home because I was hungry.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
Red Skelton