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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Would
Allow
Characters
Room
Rooms
Television
Living
Device
Character
Devices
Never
Brings

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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
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I left home because I was hungry.
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
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Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
Red Skelton