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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
Red Skelton
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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Sixth
Wasn
Five
Making
Sense
Away
Money
More quotes by Red Skelton
I only come to life when there are people watching.
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
Red Skelton
Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
Red Skelton
I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
Red Skelton
Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
Red Skelton
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
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I left home because I was hungry.
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
Red Skelton
I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
Red Skelton
I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
Red Skelton
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Red Skelton
